Expectant Mothers and Expectant Fathers: Misconceptions in Adoptions
If you are an expectant mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy there are many voices, opinions and misconceptions about the choices that are before you. This article will help share some of the most common adoption myths and misconceptions and the realities about choosing adoption.
Adoption Misconception #1
Choosing adoption is selfish.
Expectant mothers and fathers choosing adoption for their babies are very unselfish. It takes maturity and complete selflessness to choose adoption for your baby if you feel you are unable to provide the life you would like your child to have.
Adoption Misconception #2
Adoption is like foster care.
Adoption is different from foster care in many ways. If your child is placed in foster care, the state you reside in has complete custody of your child and the ability to pass them from home to home taking away the stability of a permanent family. Many times in foster care the mother and father do not have contact with the foster family or their child unless approved by the state.
Adoption Misconception #3
If I place my child with an adoptive family I can’t have a relationship with my child.
Adoption has come a long way from the days of closed adoption. Today if you choose to have a relationship with your child and your adoptive family you can do that. Many birth mothers and birth fathers have phone calls, pictures, letters and even visits with their adoptive family and their child. Placing your baby for adoption does not mean you will not be part of their lives.
Adoption Misconception #4
Choosing adoption is selling my baby.
Some people take advantage of women facing unplanned pregnancies and sometimes unlawful things happen with these people. However, if you choose to place your baby through a licensed adoption agency you will receive all the support you need lawfully. Most states allow you to receive care throughout your pregnancy and well-being about 6-8 weeks after you have your baby. This extra support allows you to rest and recover from the delivery of your baby.
Adoption Misconception #5
Once I place my baby with my adoptive family, I will no longer have support from my agency.
If you work with an ethical agency that cares for expectant and birth mothers, you will have their ongoing support for a lifetime. When you speak with your adoption agency ask them what their ongoing support looks like. They should offer you help with communications with your adoptive family if you desire as well as counseling and a listening ear if needed. Your adoption agency should always be there for you!
Adoption Misconception #6
Abortion or parenting are my only options.
Many expectant mothers aren’t aware that there is another option besides parenting or abortion. For many expectant mothers, adoption is just the right solution. Abortion comes with some emotional baggage and sometimes parenting just isn’t an option. Although adoption is not easy, choosing adoption may be the best option for you and your baby. When you choose adoption, your baby gets a chance at an amazing life and you get to watch your child grow and develop with a wonderful family chosen especially by you.
Adoption Misconception #7
My baby will hate me.
This is perhaps the saddest adoption myth, but most expectant mothers considering adoption worry about this. It is important to remember that adoptive families have waited many years for a child and an expectant mother that chooses them makes their dreams come true and gives an unspeakable gift. A gift they could never realize without you their wonderful birth mother. In families created by adoption, birth mothers are heroes. Your child will grow up always knowing of the love and admiration your adoptive family has for them and you. Placing a child with a loving family doesn’t grow hate, but love. At A Guardian Angel Adoptions, we believe that adoption is not separating families but joining them together forever.
Adoption Misconception #8
Once I sign my adoption paperwork I can’t spend time with my baby in the hospital.
At the hospital, you should be in charge of your hospital plan. At a Guardian Angel, we help you carefully choose how you would like your time at the hospital to play out. You choose who you would like to be with you during your stay and how much time you would like to spend with your baby. Even after the paperwork is signed we will advocate for you and your plan at the hospital.
These are just some of the misconceptions about adoption but there are many others. If you have questions about adoption, A Guardian Angel Adoptions can help you understand the process of adoption as well as our program. To begin learning about adoption and how we can help you make an adoption plan suited just for you, call our adoption counselors today.