How to Contact My Birth Child After Adoption

For birth parents who have chosen adoption, the desire to connect with their birth child may persist long after the adoption process is complete. While navigating this journey can be complex, there is support available to facilitate contact and maintain a connection with your child. Here are some steps and considerations for reaching out to your birth child after adoption:

Can Birth Parents Contact Their Adopted Child?

Yes, birth parents can often contact their adopted child, but the ability to do so depends on various factors, including legal agreements, the preferences of the adoptive family, and the desires of the adopted child themselves. Contact should always be made concerning these factors. Never message a child directly without first contacting the adoptive family or agency to make sure the child is emotionally prepared and ready to communicate. 

In recent years, there has been a growing trend toward more openness in adoption. Many agencies and adoptive families recognize the benefits of maintaining some level of contact between birth parents and the adopted child. This can help provide the adopted child with a sense of identity and connection to their biological roots while also allowing birth parents to maintain a relationship with their child.

Biological Parents’ Rights After Adoption

After the adoption process is finalized, many birth parents wonder about their rights to contact their adopted child. Each State and agency follows different laws and guidelines when it comes to open or closed adoptions and the contact agreement made between an adoptive family and a birth family. Where there is no legally binding contract, agencies like A Guardian Angel Adoptions, work hard to stay true to the promises made to a biological family and act as a mediator to ensure desired communication is happening.

How Can I Contact My Birth Child?

If a closed adoption was agreed upon, or you have been struggling to make contact, the best way to begin a connection to your birth child is through a letter. 

Reaching out to your birth child after adoption can be emotionally charged, but immensely rewarding. Writing a letter is a thoughtful way to initiate contact and express your feelings while also respecting the adopted child’s boundaries and allowing them the opportunity to receive contact when they are ready. Here are some steps to consider in your letter writing:

Start with You

Begin your letter by introducing yourself. Share a bit about who you are, your background, family life, hobbies or work, and any other details you feel comfortable disclosing about your life since the adoption. If the child is at an old enough age to understand, you may want to take this opportunity to disclose the circumstances that led you to place them for adoption and how you chose the family you did. Be sure to express how you felt during that time and your feelings of love for your child that led you to this decision.

Ask About Them

Express genuine interest in your birth child’s life. Inquire about their well-being, interests, hobbies, and any updates they are comfortable sharing. Avoid pressuring them to respond but make it clear that you are open to communication.

Share Your Hopes

Share your reasons for reaching out and your hopes for the future of your relationship. Be honest about your feelings while also respecting your birth child’s boundaries and autonomy. Include a way for your child to contact you when they are ready.

A Guardian Angel Adoptions Support and Resources

Once you have finished your letter, the adoption agency that facilitated your adoption should act as a middle person to ensure your letter gets to your birth child. If you already have access to the family’s address or email then send it directly and follow up with the agency to make sure it was received. 

A Guardian Angel Adoptions understands the complexities of post-adoption contact and offers valuable resources and support for birth parents seeking to reconnect with their adopted child. Whether through mediation services, counseling, or informational resources, they provide guidance and assistance every step of the way.

Navigating post-adoption contact can be challenging, but with the right support and resources, birth parents can find meaningful ways to maintain a connection with their birth child.