Your unplanned pregnancy options: how to decide what’s best for you
Choose the best path for you and your baby with compassionate unplanned pregnancy advice.
The term “unwanted pregnancy” often comes with a misconception. While many women experience unexpected pregnancies, it doesn’t mean that the babies are unwanted.
There are thousands of families out there who long for a baby to love with every piece of their hearts. These parents are hoping for the privilege of welcoming a baby into their home through the gift of adoption. I know, because I was one of them.
Giving the gift of motherhood
Ten years ago, I was sitting on a bench in the Olive Garden seating area, a nervous wreck. The hands-clammy, feet-bouncing, heart-racing, on-the-verge-of-a-panic-attack kind of nervous wreck. My husband and I were about to meet the mother of who we hoped would someday be our child.
At last, in walked this beautiful, bubbly girl with a smile as big as her belly. She wrapped me up in a hug and said, “you’re not nervous are you?!” In our two hours with her, she told us she loved motherhood and wanted to give another woman the experience of being a mom. She told us of the life she wanted her baby to have and the successful man she knew he would grow to be—because she refused to let any child she gave birth to be cheated out of life, just because hers wasn’t together at the time.
She told me her biggest fear was that she would regret this decision for the rest of her life. I promised myself right then and there that if she chose me, I would spend every day of his life making sure she wouldn’t.
He was in my arms two weeks later.
Finding a new definition of family
My son’s birth mother endured her greatest loss in order to deliver me my greatest joy. She gave him life and loved him first—and even though the stretch marks from his pregnancy might not be found on my skin, she made sure they were etched all across my heart before he was ever born.
She chose a closed adoption and we wanted to respect her wishes and the way she needed to grieve his loss while hoping someday she would want more contact. Ten years later she reached out to us and we started to develop a beautiful relationship with her and her family. We didn’t just adopt our son, but his entire biological family—and we are so grateful to have them in our lives.
Because of that relationship, our son knows the sound of her laugh and the story of her life. He got to hear her tell him why she chose us to be his parents and how the option of adoption saved her from an impossible situation. He knows where he got his dimples from and his big personality. He knows that he might be tall like his grandpa or live a long and healthy life like his grandma—and a thousand other questions that he only ever imagined the answers to.
God made something so beautiful out of her heartbreak and ours—and we get to be reminded of it every day when we look into the face of our child who holds no gene of ours.
The bright future ahead for you and your baby
Like countless other women, my son’s birth mother experienced an unplanned pregnancy—but she knew her baby was not unwanted. She knew there was a family out there ready and waiting with open arms to love him—and her—with all our hearts.
Right now, you’re probably feeling everything she must have felt when she got the news—confusion, uncertainty, fear—but just know that those emotions are normal and they don’t have to last forever. Beyond those feelings, there is life and joy and love waiting for you. Right now, it’s time to take a deep breath and think about what kind of future you want for both you and your baby.
Where do you go from here?
Every unplanned pregnancy story is different, but the good news is that you get to write yours—you are the author of your own story. Take this time to really consider your options and what’s right for you. Consult with people in your life whose opinions you trust. Read other stories of women who have also experienced unplanned pregnancies. Talk with the father of the baby if he’s still an active part of your life.
While you ask for advice and learn more about the thousands of women who share this experience with you, remember that this is ultimately your choice. If someone is pressuring you to terminate the pregnancy and you don’t want to, it’s your right not to choose that path.
If you need to talk with people outside your friends and family, there are loving counselors here to help you make the best decision for your future and the life of your baby.
Choosing the gift of adoption
The good news is that there are more unplanned pregnancy options available for expecting mothers than ever before—especially when you choose adoption. A Guardian Angel Adoptions offers support with prenatal care, health care, legal assistance and loving counseling. This ensures that you and your baby have full support during your pregnancy, through the birth and after placement.
One of the best parts of choosing adoption is that you get to select the family who will take care of your baby. A Guardian Angel looks for potential parents by using your list of preferences and then sends you in-depth profiles of each family—along with personal counseling to help you make your decision.
With adoption, you can still be a part of your baby’s life
As part of your personalized adoption plan, you get to decide exactly how much contact you’d like to have with the family you choose for your baby after the adoption is finalized. Some women choose a closed adoption and some choose semi-open or open adoptions to see your baby grow in the life you chose for them. Both open and closed adoptions are equally loving options.
No matter what kind of adoption you choose, you always get to decide the kind of interaction you have with both the adoptive parents and with your child—whether it’s letters and holiday cards or phone calls and personal visits, we have staff members dedicated to helping you with your post-adoption plan.
Write a better life for your baby
My son’s birth mother may have had an unexpected pregnancy and found herself facing impossible circumstances, but she used that opportunity to give me and my family a gift that I will never be able to thank her enough for. There are many unplanned pregnancy stories—but with A Guardian Angel Adoptions, you can ensure yours has an ending you can be at peace with.