What It Feels Like to be Adopted
What will being adopted feel like for my child? This question is on the mind of many expecting mothers considering adoption. Many birth parents worry about how adoption will affect their child’s life. Our perspective comes from our experience as parents with adopted children and from listening to the adult adoptees we know and love.
An adopted child will face the same struggles, triumphs, and joys as any other child. There will be scraped knees, favorite toys, and first crushes—all normal parts of growing up. And because you, their birth mother, love them, they will join thousands of adopted children born surrounded by an extraordinary amount of love. Knowing they are loved by others outside their immediate family gives them strength and encouragement to face their everyday challenges. Even ones that might come from being adopted.
The perspective of an adoptee to expectant mothers:
“To all the mothers thinking about going the route of adoption; My name is Taylor, I am 25 years old, and I was adopted at birth. I grew up living a fairly normal life. My parents would tell you that I was a silly tomboy toddler who grew into a somewhat sassy teenager. I loved to dance, went to college, got a great education, found a great guy, and had a few awesome babies. If you’re struggling with the adoption decision, I would tell you to hold your belly tight and imagine the grateful future words of your sweet child.
I have always said that the words couldn’t exist to thank my birth mother, Marcie, for the decisions she made for me. That stands true to this day – there is no compilation of words that I could share to show what she means to my heart. But what I do want to tell you is that, like you, she loved her baby. She was very young when she conceived me. She had a daughter already and was unable to care for another. Knowing those around her would encourage an abortion, she hid her pregnancy until she could decide what to do. Marcie met my mom in her OBGYN office. My mother was in the office for her final visit. She planned to tell the doctor she refused to do any more fertility treatments. After 7 years of being poked and prodded, she quit. Marcie was in the office for her first checkup, and it was well overdue. They may not have known it yet, but they were a match made in heaven.
Marcie and my mom became inseparable within a few months. To this day, my mother calls Marcie a member of her family, and she fiercely defends that. And Marcie is family. She is a part of my family and my story. Without her, my story and my family wouldn’t have existed – you bet she is family.
I never had a moment in my life where I felt unloved or loved any less than other kids. Why? Because so many people loved me. Marcie had carried and birthed me, shunned by everyone else’s wishes in her life to end my life. She handed her daughter into the arms of another couple who gave me something she felt she could not. That is love. I also knew I was loved by how my parents treated my birth family. Their love was unconditional. They were always there during the hard times that came after my birth, the drugs, the relapses, the recovering. You name it, my parents showed up. They loved recklessly with no expectations – and they didn’t have to. They loved Marcie because they loved me.
My parents loved every ounce of Marcie, as well as my birth father Pat, because those were the two people who made me. Your child’s adoptive parents will see your features in your child and beam with pride. They will laugh when their child grows and has sassy moments that reflect your personality. Know that your baby will grow, surrounded by twice as many people in their lives who all fought endlessly for them.
But if there is one fear birth mothers have shared most with me, it is that their choice will have a negative lasting impact on their child. So in regards to that, I would love to share the lasting impact adoption has had on my life:
Life to me has never been ordinary, not because I am different but because I am grateful. I wake up every day fully understanding Marcie did not have to make this choice. Often, the world makes it much easier to make a different choice. Every day my life is made a little sweeter by knowing I am a miracle, loved beyond all measure by some amazing people. Because of Marcie, I got to have a first day of school. I had my first crush and also my first heartbreak. I experienced my first dance class, my first college acceptance letter.
But most importantly, because of Marcie, I have my husband and children. Without the choices she made I wouldn’t have them, and this world would be a dull place without their bright lights. They matter, so I matter, and Marcie and her choices matter. Your choices matter, you matter, your child matters, and the future you both have ahead of you matters. You are here because of love. Maybe someday, like Marcie, you will be sitting at your child’s graduation. Maybe it’s their wedding, or maybe you’ll be sitting in a room holding their children – and you’ll get it, and they will too. Because together you are adoption, and adoption is powerful. Someday your child will be unable to find the words to thank you, because those words don’t exist.”
Giving your child to another family through adoption is not giving up. It is giving your child the best life possible. Someday, they will understand your choice and be grateful you gave them life. Reach out to A Guardian Angel Adoptions if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and looking for the family you hope for your child. Remember, you are the best person to make the decisions about your wishes and your needs for your baby. We honor you as an expectant mother by providing the best chance for a successful adoption with loving families. We honor your brave decision to explore adoption. Resources are available for both birth mothers and expecting mothers. We promise to help carry your burden and to walk every step of your adoption journey with you.
Call or text today and speak with a loving member of our team to educate yourself on the adoption process.
Call: 855-402-6435 Text Only to: 385-202-0094