You’re not the first woman to wonder this while considering adoption. A Guardian Angel is here to help you feel more at peace with your decision.
There’s a certain question every expectant mother eventually asks herself: “what if I regret choosing adoption?”
Questions like this are a natural part of considering adoption, but the answers to them are not always clear or easy. Instead of asking “what if?” continue to ask yourself the most important question: “what’s best for my baby and me?” Everything else can wait until you’ve found the answer.
Crucial things to remember
This is your decision
The most important thing to remember is that adoption is a choice. No matter what anyone else says, this is your decision to make. While it’s always a good idea to get advice from people you trust, it’s still up to you to choose what’s best for your baby.
This is not meant to put more pressure on you. It’s simply meant to say it’s okay if you are currently unsure about choosing adoption—no one can make you choose it before you are ready.
Give yourself time to make up your mind
Because this is your choice to make, you need to choose it carefully. Many expecting mothers feel pressured to make a decision as soon as they realize they’re pregnant, but that’s not always necessary. If you need time to think, please take it. This is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. It doesn’t need to be rushed.
Learn about your adoption options
Where to get adoption support
While you take time to think, it’s a good idea to learn more about this process and the compassionate people who will guide you through it. This will help you understand all of your options and what to expect for every part of your journey.
Get started by learning more about the adoption professionals who offer support and free services to expecting mothers who choose adoption.
What happens after adoption
Sometimes, fear about choosing adoption comes from not fully understanding it. Learn about what happens after you choose adoption and how agencies like A Guardian Angel support you throughout it. This will help ease some of your concerns about exactly what happens during and after the adoption process.
Read other people’s adoption stories
There are hundreds of personal stories about people who have been on every side of adoption—and many of them are written by birth mothers who have experienced exactly what you are experiencing right now. Reading these stories will help you better understand which path you want to follow. To get started, read these touching letters of gratitude written by an adoptive parent, a person who was adopted and a birth mother.
How to feel more confident about your choice
Choose an adoption plan that will keep you and your baby connected
Often, expecting mothers worry about adoption because it feels too final, and they’re scared of never seeing their baby again. But wonderfully, adoption doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship with your child.
Over the years, choosing an open adoption has become more and more common. This type of adoption plan is a fantastic way to give your baby a loving family without having to say goodbye. Learn more about the types of adoption to understand your options and ease your worry.
Discuss your feelings with the birth father
A lot of expecting mothers don’t know that birth fathers also have paternity rights—and many of these fathers care about what happens to their baby.
If it’s possible and safe, talk with your baby’s father to discuss your options (and your feelings about them). If both of you agree that adoption will provide the best future for your baby, you will have more peace of mind knowing it’s a decision you made together.
Get to know the adoptive family
If you do choose an open adoption, then you have so much to look forward to! You have an entire lifetime to get to know your child and their amazing adoptive family. Take this time to talk with the adoptive parents as you all prepare for the baby who will unite you for the rest of your lives.
Your worry of regret should ease as you get to know the people who will be giving your baby every ounce of love they have to give.
Resources and support for expecting mothers
Reach out for the help you need
Choosing adoption may seem scary when you’re making the decision by yourself, but you don’t have to choose it alone. Adoption agencies like A Guardian Angel are here to offer loving help and support from the day you contact us to long after the adoption is finalized.
There are also many organizations and adoption support groups designed to help birth parents after adoption. Organizations like The On Your Feet Foundation and BirthMom Buds offer support through counseling, retreats and sharing stories.
Remember why you considered adoption
In the end, an expecting mother usually worries about regretting adoption for one reason: her baby. She worries her child won’t understand why she chose adoption—that they will think she doesn’t love them.
But you know that isn’t true. You’re considering adoption because you love your baby. And if you honestly feel you can’t raise a child right now, then you are choosing to give them a family who can. We can’t promise you will never feel brief moments of sadness about your choice—but if you make this decision with care and love, you will feel joy knowing you chose what’s best for your baby.