I read an interesting blog (welcometomybrain.net) from November 2008 about open adoption. An adoptive mother counseled those who were considering a closed adoption- because they were uncomfortable with the idea of openness-to talk with at least five families in open newborn and domestic infant adoptions. She suggested reading at least 3-5 books on open adoption. And she wrote, “Realize that your child will benefit from the truth, even if it is painful and uncomfortable for the adults.’
When we first brought our adopted children home from the hospital, I wasn’t sure what their relationship with their birth moms would be. We always left it up to their birth mom to see what level of involvement they wanted. Two of my children have had contact with their birthmom, and I can see what a blessing it has been in their lives. The blog author cited several interesting studies on open adoptions. From Dr. Ruth McRoy, University of Texas in Austin: “Children of open adoptions have a more positive image of their birth mother.”
From the Minnesota Texas Adoption Research Project:
-Birthmothers do not attempt to ‘reclaim’ their children.
-Adoptive parents in open adoptions do not feel less in control, and, indeed, have a greater sense of permanence in their relationship with their child.
-Children in open adoptions are not confused about who their parents are. They do understand the different roles of adoptive and birth parents in their lives.
Although all situations are different, I feel it is wise advice to consider the pros of an open adoption. I have seen beautiful family relationships between birth parents, adoptive parents, and adopted children. I also know that sometimes it gets sticky and difficult, just like any family relationship. Ultimately your child benefits from knowing where they come from.